This Is My Desire

My Lord God, I have no idea where I am going, I do not see the road ahead of me. I cannot know for certain where it will end. Nor do I really know myself, and the fact that I think I am following Your will does not mean that I am actually doing so. But I believe that the desire to please You does in fact please You. And I hope I have that desire in all that I am doing. I hope that I will never do anything apart from that desire. And I know that, if I do this, You will lead me by the right road, though I may know nothing about it. Therefore I will trust You always though I may seem to be lost and in the shadow of death. I will not fear, for You are ever with me, and You will never leave me to face my perils alone. -Thomas Merton

This is my desire: to honor You.
Lord with all my Heart I worship You.
All I have within in me, I give You praise.
All that I adore is in You.

Lord I give you my heart,
I give you my soul, I live for you alone.
Every breath that I take,
Every moment I'm awake,
Lord have Your way in me.
-Hillsong "This is My Desire"

Adequacy…

So what has God been teaching me lately?
I’ve been taking lessons in adequacy. When you find yourself to be completely inept and entirely inadequate, do not despair:

Such confidence we have through Christ toward God. Not that we are adequate in ourselves to consider anything as coming from ourselves, but our adequacy is from God, who also made us adequate as servants of a new covenant, not of the letter of the Spirit; for the letter kills, but the Spirit gives life. 2 Cor. 3:4-6

It is this hope that governs me. Not that I can achieve adequacy through righteous deeds, talents, or abilities (specifically the ability to communicate…).
But, Christ is my adequacy!

And if you want to accept Christ then you also are made adequate.
So, put away your self condemning thoughts.
Silence the voice that says, “You don’t measure up”.
“You can’t do it; the task is too great!”
“You are inadequate”.

Enough.

Start living in victory.
Christ is our adequacy.
His Spirit is in us, all hope and all glory.

A tale of the miraculous heaven sent throne of sorts...

So, here goes my first b-log update since my arrival…
I think I’ll start by sharing with you the most important thing I’ve learned so far.

Lesson#1: God is really big and faithful. It seems that since I landed here God has continually shown me His love and faithfulness in every way. You see, I have been walking around with a great deal of confusion for nearly three weeks now. I don’t know what people are saying. I don’t know what I am saying (which is apparent on the faces of those who I speak too…). And, I don’t even fully comprehend where I’m at; since I have directional difficulties. Yet, God has continually provided for me. For example, last week God met one of my premier needs via a porta-potty. One evening I was returning from an excursion to Old Québec when all of the sudden nature called… This was extremely inconvenient as I still had to walk half an hour from the bus stop to the house. Well, fifteen minutes in, I was on the brink of forfeit. I knew I could not hold it any longer… I started to pray: “Lord, help me! I already feel like an infant in every way; I don’t want my host family to think that I didn’t come potty trained!”
And then, just as I was about to say goodbye to my last ounce of dignity I spotted it, the green porta-potty from heaven (pictured on right) . It rose up out of nowhere on a street corner in the suburbs! The pylons around it indicated that it was initially placed there to service a road construction crew; but, I know that it was God who placed it in that exact spot to meet me in my hour of great need! Praise Him!
In other news, this weekend I had the immense privilege of helping to present Option Grossesse to a church here in QC. The service was in French and English; and I had the opportunity to present the Centre in English while my francophone friend A. did her part in French. It went very well; I think that we were well received. Praise God that we are receiving support from some of the churches in QC!

Finally, I’d like to share with you one of the beautiful things I see everyday. Pictured on the right are the Virgin Mary and Baby Jesus. As I walk to school each day I see this statue standing outside an abandoned monastery. It reminds me of God’s great mercy and unending love. The empty monastery, however, reminds me how much we need God.

That’s all for this go. Please tune in next time to hear more about my miraculous happenings and amazing adventures.

Love, Leah

Please Note: I’ve listed below some prayer and praise items.
Praise God for:
- The fact that I now have internet at the Moreau’s. Thank-you for your prayers!
- The opportunity to speak in church.
- His continued faithfulness.

Prayer For:
- Option Grossesse, please pray that we would continue to move forward in success as we establish a location for the Centre and start training.
- My grandpa Jack and my friend Megan who are in the hospital. Please pray that they would come to know that Lord and that He would heal them.
- Pray for my language learning; that my mouth and ears would be opened. (Also, pray that God would still use me somehow in the mean time…)

Zero to Sixty in Year 400

Dorothy Kenton, an Alliance missionary who had plans to serve God overseas, was redirected in 1942.

After much prayer she believed that God wanted her to go to Quebec. “When I could say a wholehearted ‘yes’ too Him and give my willing consent to serve Him in Quebec for as long as He chose to use me there,” she recalled, “a great peace flooded my soul and immediately the Lord gave token after token that this thing was of Him.”

Later she wrote:

Quebec is not ordinarily thought of as a mission field. Going up there does not carry with it the glory and glamour of one who is crossing the ocean. Nevertheless, the field is a most needy one and certainly a hard one; a field that needs the earnest prayers and supplications of the Lord’s intercessors…

Apparently, in 1948 Quebec was considered:
“the world’s second largest (after India) unevangelized missions field, still open to the Gospel”
- Lindsay Reynolds “Rebirth: The Redevelopment of the Christian and Missionary Alliance in Canada 1919-1983

I wonder how much has changed in 60 years?

Lord Jesus Christ have mercy on me a sinner.

Stop Pretending; Start Loving.

I am not a woman of great knowledge or wisdom. I don’t have a degree.

And yet… the truth was spelled out for me in a dream like at street sign caught in the headlights at night: “Canada is in Danger”

What do you mean Canada is in danger? I don’t feel threatened?

"We don't realize how vulnerable we are in one another's company," said Fr. Riccioli. "We depend and trust that people next to us are coming out of their best place. Sometimes that continuum doesn't work out. Some of it is random. But as a society we make choices; we pretend that people are on their own and that has consequences. When we decide that we would rather have a tax cut than a place to house people who are mentally ill that has consequences, too."
-Charles Lewis, National Post “Tragedy tests one’s faith”; in reference to the Greyhound atrocity
<http://www.nationalpost.com/news/canada/story.html?id=696337&p=2>

Pretending that we are on our own isn’t so bad for the able bodied… a bit lonely perhaps.

But, independence is freedom… right?

Wrong.
We all fall down.
Whether it is due to illness, accident, or old age; we all fall down.

So…

Let’s STOP pretending that we’re all alone.

Two is better than one… if one falls down, his friend can help him up.
Woe to the one who falls when there is not another to lift him up.

- Ecc. 4:9a, 10

Progress Report - Mission Quebec

Hello friends, so I haven’t been as frequent in updating this blog as I would have hoped; however, I plan to amend this presently. Here is a quick update on my Quebec status.
Praise Items:
1) I have a plane ticket! I will be arriving in Quebec City on Monday September 1st at 5:45pm.
2) My plane ticket cost approximately $175 less than I thought it would!
3) I have been learning a lot of useful things at the Calgary Pregnancy Care Centre; I hope that these things will be helpful during my time in Quebec.

Prayer Requests:
4) I have sent in my application to the University of Laval for language studies; please pray with me that I will hear from them soon with a letter of acceptance.
5) I still don’t have a place to live while I’m in Quebec City. Ideally I would like to live with a French speaking family; however, if I don’t find a family I will have to live in a secular residence setting at Laval. Since I never want to live in a secular residence ever, please pray that God would prepare a family for me.
6) Continued prayer for funds; I am still short a few thousand dollars.

So, there you have it, my progress report. God bless you for joining me in prayer.

“God is opposed to the proud, but gives grace to the humble”

God wants us to show our faith when we obey, for he doesn't express his will with drums and trumpets...Sometimes he suggests his wishes in a whisper, deep in our conscience; and we must listen carefully to recognize his voice and be faithful... Let's not forget: we need humility of we are to obey... We have to love God so as to love his will and desire to respond to his call.

Trade my trumpets for sackcloth.
Clothe my heart in humility;
that righteousness might take root
and spring up.

“Let go of this love for hypocrisy.”
“LET GO OF THIS STRIFE AND MONSTROSITY”

Christ in me;
all hope and all glory.

Come Lord Jesus, come.

God humbled himself to allow us to get near him, so that we could give our love in exchange for his so that our freedom might bow, not only at the sight of his power, but also before the wonder of his humility. -Josemaria Escriva

Submit therefore to God. Resist the devil and he will flee from you. Draw near to God and He will draw near to you. Cleanse your hands you sinners; and purify your hearts, you double-minded. Be miserable and mourn and weep; let your laughter be turned into mourning and your joy to gloom. Humble yourselves in the presence of the Lord, and He will exalt you. -James 4:6b-10

The Lord is my Portion

God is great and merciful!

When my heart was embittered
And I was pierced within,
Then I was senseless and ignorant;
I was like a beast before You.
Nevertheless I am continually with You;
You have taken hold of my right hand.
With Your counsel You will guide me,
And afterward receive me to glory.
Whom have I in heaven but You?
And besides You, I desire nothing on earth.
My flesh and my heart may fail,
But God is the strength of my heart and
my portion forever.
For, behold, those who are far from You
will perish;
You have destroyed all those who are
unfaithful to You.
But as for me, the nearness of God is my good;
I have made the Lord God my refuge,
That I may tell of all Your works.
-Ps. 73:21-28

I love the Lord! He is good to me!

Remember my affliction and my
wandering, the wormwood and
bitterness.
Surely my soul remembers
And is bowed down within me.
This I recall to my mind,
Therefore I have hope.
The Lord's lovingkindnesses indeed
never cease,
For His compassions never fail.
They are new every morning;
Great is Your faithfulness.
"The Lord is my portion" says my soul,
"Therefore I have hope in Him."
The Lord is good to those who wait for
Him,
To the person who seeks Him.
It is good that he waits silently
For the salvation of the Lord.
It is good for a man that he should bear
the yoke in his youth.
Let him sit alone and be silent
Since He has laid it on him.
Let him put his mouth in the dust,
Perhaps there is hope.
Let him give his cheek to the smitter,
Let him be filled with reproach.
For the Lord will not reject forever,
For if He causes grief,
Then He will have compassion
According to His abundant
lovingkindness.
-Lam. 3: 19-32

The Second Helvetic Confession of the Protestant Reformation says, "The preaching of the Word of God is the Word of God"... the humility implicit in such a confession is that we have nothing of importance, merit, or authority to say comparable to what God has said.
-Bryan Chapell

"Jesus is alive!"

You knit me together in my mother’s womb.

-Ps. 139:13b

These are my nephew’s feet and my sister’s hands. Beautiful feet and hands….
Since I began working at the Pregnancy Care Center I have spent a considerable amount of time with small children and pregnant women. I won’t deceive you; it isn’t always easy. There are a lot of tears involved.
However, it has never been more apparent to me how truly miraculous life is. The Lord loves His little children.
Okay… illustration time. Yesterday I spent the day with one of my sisters and her family (a different sister than the one pictured above). And of course, she is pregnant, seven months along in fact. She also already has one small child. He is nearly three and he is absolutely adorable. I love him a great deal.
Anyways, while we were playing in the back yard (actually, he was running and playing while all of the adults wondered at his vast supply of energy) when all of the sudden my dear little nephew ran up to me with excitement and said, “Auntie Leala” (Yes… he calls me Auntie Leala; so cute!). And I replied, “Yes?” eager to share in his delight.

His eyes got wide; what he was about to say was clearly very important to him.
I braced myself.

“Jesus…” he said, “is alive!”

“Yes he is dear one,” I smiled with great joy.

Apparently, ever since my nephew started going to Sunday school he has become a little evangelist. He especially likes to share in the mall.
Praise the Lord!

God loves His precious little children.

God weeps...

As he was traveling, it happened that he was approaching Damascus, and suddenly a light from heaven flashed around him; and he fell to the ground and heard a voice saying to him, "Saul, Saul, why are you persecuting Me?" And he said, "Who are You, Lord?" And He said, "I am Jesus whom you are persecuting" -Acts 9:3-5

God weeps
at love withheld
at strength misused
at children’s innocence abused
Until we change the way we love,
God weeps.

God bleeds
at anger’s fist
at trust betrayed
at women battered and afraid
Until we change the way we win,
God bleeds.

God cries
at hungry mouths
at running sores
at creatures dying without cause
Until we change the way we care,
God cries.

God waits
for stones to melt
for peace to seed
for heart’s to hold each others need
Until we understand the Christ,
God waits.

By Shirley Erena Murray

4 o'clock?!?

"it is the name of Jesus which has strengthened this man whom you see and know; and the faith which comes through Him has given him this perfect health in the presence of you all... Therefore repent and return, so that your sins may be wiped away, in order that times of refreshing may come from the presence of the Lord" –Acts 3:16b;19

Well, this week has been full of challenges, including inward and outward struggles; but, it has also been full of divine mercy, strengthening, and refreshing.

Yesterday for example I accidentally left work one hour early.
My co-worker and I were talking and she said, "well I've got to go; see you tomorrow Leah". Since we usually leave at the same time I assumed that this meant it was time for me to go as well.
I looked outside and the sky seemed dark enough (it was raining...). I also glanced at the clock on the wall; and read it wrong. Then I went home.
When I stepped in the door my roommate and her fiancé were sitting on the couch, they looked at me with surprise and one of them said, "Leah, you're home early!" I responded, "No I'm not". But, they seemed convinced, so I swallowed my pride and looked at the clock. They were right; it was 4 not 5... So I ran back to work.
Luckily, I only live across the street so I was gone for like 5 minutes. When I got back to the Center and told the ladies what happened we all had a good chuckle.
My job is a real blessing to me; it’s keeping me humble.

God is good. Even when it’s raining, and my timing is off... He is good to me.
Slow to anger, rich in mercy, abounding in love.

April 25th

He who offers a sacrifice of thanksgiving honors Me;
And to him who orders his way aright I shall show the salvation of God.
-Psalm 50:23

Today I ate an entire chocolate rabbit head left over from Easter...
Yesterday I cleaned out all my cupboards and put everything I own into a box and moved it.
The day before that I finished my last Greek paper; my last paper of the year.
Now I am on the farm again for a few days.

My life is in HUGE transition.

If it were a chapter book I'm on to the next chapter.
The last few were the best so far; hard to beat.
But I think this new one has started out pretty good.

It begins by remembering Easter.

Praise the name of Jesus!

The purpose of this B-log is to lend you some insight into my life as I venture to Quebec on a mission. I hope to write on regular basis; I’ll start in the summer as I prepare to go. However, until I get through this last stretch of papers and exams, I will simply leave you some scripture to encourage you and a Merton that I jacked from Leslie’s blog to pacify your heart.
“Therefore we do not lose heart. Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day. For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all. So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen. For what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal.” 2 Corinthians 4:16-18
Our Eden is the heart of Christ,
Let grace come, Jesus.
Your name is on my heart
Your holy name is on the tower of my heart.
Let grace come and let this world pass away,
Jesus, You who are living in my exhausted heart.
-Thomas Merton